


Pair of Schemers

by RoaringTurtle



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Actually nevermind there are spoilers, Byleth doesn't teach a single house and is just a general professor, Competition, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Just a little ooc but its for comedy i swear, Kind of Spoilery but its vague, POV Multiple, POV Third Person Limited, Rivalry, She's also just a disaster in general, This was originally just supposed to be an incorrectquotes fic but whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-11-01 23:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20537468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoaringTurtle/pseuds/RoaringTurtle
Summary: Because being so attached to Edelgard is considered "unhealthy", Hubert is temporarily transferred into the Golden Deer. Little did he know, this would be the start of a beautiful friendship





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Retainer Swap](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168671) by [RoaringTurtle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoaringTurtle/pseuds/RoaringTurtle). 

> I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself

Hubert was a very punctual person. He would always arrive at the exact time they had agreed on. He never missed an appointment, since such inefficiencies would only add up. No, it was better to do whatever was needed quickly so he could get back to serving Lady Edelgard. Unfortunately for him, few others seemed to share his mindset. For some reason he couldn’t comprehend, they would end up arriving either too early or too late.

Take his current predicament for example. That retainer of Dimitri’s, Dedue, had gotten to Professor Byleth’s office far too early. He and the tactern teacher had been sitting in silence when Hubert had arrived. Although knowing them, they probably didn’t mind it. And now the three of them had to wait for the pink-haired, Golden Deer girl, Hilda.

At least Hubert didn’t have to engage in that dreaded small talk with this company, and for that he was grateful.

Finally, the Goneril girl had decided to grace them with her presence, making some excuse as per usual for her. Lady Edelgard would have respected his time, and would have taken responsibility properly had something come up. 

This was why he hated other people.

At last, with the problem students gathered, the Professor finally decided to reveal why she gathered the three.

“So it has come to my attention,” Byleth began, “That the three of you have some rather problematic qualities. As a professor, I must correct this,” She had told them that there was something wrong with them without batting an eye, and for that, the Professor had his respect. Although to be fair, she did everything as nonchalantly as that.

“Oh?” Dedue decided to ask, “Are you saying there is something I need to correct? I don’t believe I understand what you mean,” The large man had several qualities that Hubert could call admirable, his loyalty for one, but Hubert could also think of more than a few flaws in the gentle giant. 

For instance, there was his lack of desire to bring justice for his people. Hubert could never understand how he could serve the Faerghus Prince after the Kingdom murdered his people. Did Dedue truly not want revenge on those who hurt him like that? If he could truly take this insult lying down, then it just meant that the man from Duscar was weak.

As if to answer Dedue’s question, Byleth crossed her arms, leaned back in her chair, and posed a question to the three of them, “Alright, so for example, what would you do if your house leader ordered you to kill Flayn?”

Hilda gave a nervous chuckle before asking what any lesser person would, “Professor, that’s sorta extreme-” Her complaint, however, was cut off by the other two.

“Obviously, without hesitation,” Hubert answered, with a smug grin, as if that was the obvious answer.

“If his Highness commands it,” Dedue solemnly agreed, which caused his stock to rise in Hubert eyes. Not too high, obviously.

Hilda decided to take a step away from the two retainers who seemed perfectly fine with murdering a sweet little girl, before conceding, “Ok, I think I get why they need this, but what about me? Sure, I like Claude, but I’m not obsessed like these two!”

Byleth looked her in the eyes and let a pregnant pause pass long enough to be awkward before answering, “Well, it would be kind of awkward if it was only two houses. I didn’t want the Golden Deer to be left out. Plus my solution needs someone from each house. Anyways, you’re lazy so… fix that I guess.” Byleth told her, as if that terrible reasoning resolved anything. Hilda must have resigned to it, since her complaints dried out against the unperturbed professor.

“So what is this solution of yours?” Hubert asked, eager to end this, “This is taking far too long, I must return to Lady Edelgard’s side.”

Byleth gave him a look of pity somehow with her deadpan look, and told him, “Oh, you’re not gonna like this.” And then continued to march to the beat of her own drum as she completely disregarded that, “So my plan was to have you guys switch houses for a bit. What do you think? Pretty great, huh?”

Byleth’s question was met with a stream of objections from Hubert, Dedue, and surprisingly enough Hilda.

“I have better things to do than go along with your inane proposal!”

“I must not leave his Highness’s side! How am I supposed to protect him in another house?”

“That’s so much work! I don’t wanna!”

“Shut up! I’m the teacher so you guys gotta do what I say!” Byleth shouted, with all the maturity that a teacher should have with her students. Really, should she be in charge of these youths? What were her qualifications?

“I still don’t understand why we need to do this…” Dedue mentioned, and in his defense, neither did Hubert.

“Ugh, seriously? How dense are you guys?” Despite rolling her eyes, Byleth’s entire face never shifted. Hubert never understood how she could be so unexpressive. “Okay so both of you are too narrow-minded. You guys never stop talking about your lord. So I’m forcing you guys to have some distance so can learn to chill. Especially you Hubert,” Byleth singled Hubert out, which earned a scowl from the mage, “Anyways, Hilda, you’re a Blue Lion. Dedue, you’re with the Eagles. Hubert, Deer. Everyone got it? Great! You’ll be with your new houses starting next week and it will end whenever I feel like it. You’re dismissed!” And after reaching that new height of unreasonableness, she unceremoniously kicked the three out of her office.

While Hilda was complaining about the entire situation to Dedue, Hubert used the distraction to slip away unnoticed and think about his new situation.

Honestly, what did Hilda think to accomplish? She gains absolutely nothing from that fruitless endeavor. If she disliked it, she should strive to change it herself. Although it would most likely be futile, as even Hubert couldn’t think his way out of this situation.

What would he do? Lady Edelgard would be unable to confide in him their... plans... for after they graduate. Suddenly a thought occurred to him: could that be why he was forced into this farce? No, he decided, it was most likely one of their teacher’s whims, but it was still rather unfortunate.

And how could he serve Lady Edelgard from another house? It reminded him of that one time, as a child, when he was unable to serve her. But then again, he decided, the past was in the past, so there was no need to dwell on that.

And on that note, what would the Black Eagles do without him? They only had 2 other spellcasters. Linhardt was better suited to white magic, and Dorothea, although she had her utility, still lacked his firepower. Replacing him with an armor knight, what was the Professor thinking? Lady Edelgard already had that role filled much better than anyone could possibly compare to.

Unfortunately, Hubert was still a student, and subject to this impulses of that professor. He supposed this could prove useful, considering he could gather information more easily from the rival houses and the Leicester Alliance, but in that case he still probably would have preferred the Blue Lions.

If only because it meant that fool wasn’t there.

The House Leader of the Golden Deer, Claude von Reigan, was completely unable to be serious, even in the most dire of situations. In the mock battles, he even had the audacity to mock Lady Edelgard, the heir-apparent of the Empire!

At least Dimitri had it in him to be respectful, Claude simply a clown who irritated people to get a rise out of them. How could the next leader of the alliance be so carefree when everyone else is planning their future? It rubbed Hubert the wrong way.

Claude’s happy-go-lucky attitude did nothing to endear him to the Retainer, who sighed as he realized he had a long week ahead of him. Actually, Hubert realized, the Professor never did give an end date…

Fuming, Hubert stalked his way to the kitchen, hoping there was still some coffee left.


	2. The Bet

Hubert von Vestra could be described with two words: Edelgard and Creepy.

So suffice to say, Claude wouldn’t say he was thrilled to meet his house’s newest recruit.

Honestly, how could Edelgard tolerate having a bootlicker like that around? Claude liked a little friction in his relationships, it kept things interesting. So obviously a yes-man was out of the question.

And the worst part was that he was replacing Hilda, literally one of the Golden Deer’s best members! Sure she would complain, but she could swing that axe like nobody’s business. Why would Teach replace her with a magic user? Didn’t she understand how team composition worked?

But in the end, Claude was stuck with this guy.

Hubert was callous to anyone who wasn’t his beloved Edelgard, so there was bound to be insubordination. So just what Claude needed: another Lorenz.

If anything, Hubert would probably just use this as a chance to spy on him and the Golden Deer. Who knows, if Claude got lucky, then maybe Hubert would sit quietly in the corner to eavesdrop on them and not harass his classmates.

It was kind of pitiably, in all honesty. If it wasn’t for Hubert’s fanaticism, Claude would have hoped that they could be friends.

It could’ve been nice to have another tactician around, someone who he could go back-and-forth with. 

So with that faintest hope in his mind, Claude went to greet his newest member.

The future leader of the Alliance prepared his best ‘Welcome’ smile and all the other sorts of things he did to seem diplomatic, and got ready to meet Edelgard’s retainer

* * *

“You can drop the fake smile, I am not looking forward to this anymore than you are,” Hubert told Claude before the leader could get a greeting in. It was kinda funny how straight forward the guy was, so Claude had to do his best in hiding his laughter while he acted hurt by the statement.

“What are you talking about? I just wanted to meet the newest Golden Deer!” Claude was a little annoyed that Hubert visibly grimaced when he mentioned that, “We’ll be together for who knows how long, so let’s do our best to get along, right?” Claude laid all the charm into his next smile, but it was handwaved away by the mage.

“Please don’t bother. I will continue my duties and you can continue on as normal. Neither of us actually need to do anything. Eventually that Professor will realize this whole thing was a terrible idea and everything will go back to normal. Until then you can stop buzzing around me.” Hubert didn’t even try to hide his distaste, it was great. This might actually be fun.

“C’mon Hubert, you need to loosen up!” Claude told him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, “You only live once, so you gotta enjoy everything life throws at ya!”

“I’d rather not,” Hubert informed him, and using removing the arm as you would for a piece of trash.

Claude started to pout, “Wow. Y’know, I was kinda hoping we could get along, since we’re kinda similar, you and I. But I guess that’s not happening.”

“Hah! You and me? Please. I would rather die than admit we are anything alike”

“Well since we were both schemers, I thought we could work together, but looks like that’s a long shot.”

Hubert scowled before replying “Please don’t consider us even remotely similar. Do you truly believe you’re of my caliber? Those juvenile pranks you pull can hardly be recognized as a scheme.”

“Hey! I just know that I shouldn’t cross the line, unlike you, Mr. Assassin. You do realize that threatening someone doesn’t require any thinking you know. Do you honestly think you’re clever just because you’re willing to be more ruthless?”

“Weren’t you the one who thought I was similar to you? Yet here you are, claiming I am nothing special… So contradictory.”

“It’s called being polite, not that you would know,”

“Enough!” Hubert finally put his metaphorical foot down, “This entire conversation is pointless, I must ask you to desist from speaking with me from now on,” Hubert seemed ready to bolt, but Claude couldn’t let that happen yet. It was just getting good.

“Now, now Hubert, you can’t do that. The entire point of this exercise was to get you to open up. ‘Chill’, as Teach said,” Claude teased, and could see he hit a sore spot. Hubert must have really hated being separated from his beloved lord.

This was going to be _ so _interesting.

“What the professor doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Hubert said, and Claude could practically feel the murderous vibes from him.

“Hubert!” Claude exclaimed in mock astonishment, “You shouldn’t do that! She only wants what’s best for you,” Claude couldn’t contain his wicked grin for the next part, “Besides, the house leaders are supposed to give her reports on how you new guys are handling the new environment.”

When Hubert visibly went through the five stages of grief, Claude could tell this wasn’t going to be a mistake. If anything, this might have been his best decision yet.

But Hubert wasn’t a very good at handling grief since it appears he got stuck on the bargaining stage, “What do you want then?”

“What could you possibly mean? I’m just following my respected instructor’s directions,” Claude said with exaggerated arm movements, before putting his arms in a thinking posture, “Unless… no, I shouldn’t,” Claude shook his head, as if to dismiss the idea. It could’ve been more believable if he wasn’t smirking though.

Hubert must have gotten annoyed with his overacting, since he would even let Claude finish. What a meanie. “Just spit it out, I don’t have all day.”

“What if we make a bet?”

Hubert looked interested at the idea, so Claude knew he struck gold. It was too easy with this guy.

“So I was thinking that we could see who was the better schemer. Not that you would have an issue, of course, see how you’re _ so _ much better than me.” Claude continued.

“What is the wager?” Hubert asked, completely ignoring the taunt.

“Well if you win, then you can go back to your beloved Edelgard and I’ll just lie to Teach about you being a good little Deer,” Claude couldn’t hide the glint in his eyes when he got to his part though, “And if I win then you join the Golden Deer. Forever. Or at least until I get bored. And you need to call me a ‘Master Tactician.” Hubert mulled over his options, so Claude tried one last push, “What? Are you scared?”

“As if I’d fall for your cheap provocations,” Hubert spat, but he did relent, “However those terms are acceptable. It’s not as if I’d lose anyways.”

“Feeling confident are you? Well there’s no backing out of it now!” Claude could feel the corners of his lips forming his first actual smile since he met the mage.

“So as for the contents of the competition, how will we determine who the better… schemer… is,” Hubert looked like he died a little on the inside when he had to use that word, so Claude was having the time of his life, thanks for asking.

“Well, so you know how Teach doesn’t really show her emotions on her face, right?” Claude asked, only to get a grunt of acknowledgement from Hubert, “So whoever gets her to react wins! Pretty simple, I think.”

“Do you mean like surprise? Or anger? Hmm, well we would need to have witnesses for legitimacy, otherwise you would just lie about winning,”

“I would never!” Claude put a hand over his heart as if he was wounded, but he was genuine for once. Seeing Teach react had been a lifelong goal of his. “But yeah, sounds good?”

“Yes, and I hope you are ready to lose,” Hubert told him with one of his deathly grins, which earned him a clap on the back.

“That’s the spirit!”

Claude made a mental note to thank Teach, since he was going to have _ so _ much fun with this guy.


	3. Detention

Only a day had passed since the bet was made, but Claude was already ready. Did Hubert really think that he didn’t already have plans just for this situation? This was going to be his Magnum Opus, obviously he already had tons of ideas. Like this, for example.

Teach was going to teach the Golden Deer’s first hour, and she tended to have a habit of running late to the classroom for morning classes. 

Today just happened to be one of those days.

So with this golden opportunity, Claude had gotten there early to put a bucket of water on the door. Once she opened it, the bucket would spill and she would be drenched. No one could keep a straight face through that!

Naturally there were those who had their reservations with his scheme.

Hubert just chuckled and called Claude “juvenile,” but he’d see.

Lysithea complained about how this would get in the way of their studying, but she hated fun so Claude ignored her.

If Hilda was here, she would help him. He missed her.

Eventually the moment of truth dawned upon the Golden Deer class when Teach barreled through the door.

The bucket fell, and she was soaked.

Unfortunately, instead of anger, there was only cruel indifference.

“Claude, detention.”

* * *

Hubert was falling behind. How naïve was he? Obviously Claude would have an advantage since he was the one who proposed this wager. He must have been planning this for quite some time. Hubert had impulsively agreed, mostly because he wanted revenge on that Professor for sticking him in the Golden Deer, so now he needed to catch up.

However, Hubert smirked to himself, Claude most likely wasn’t a threat. If his schemes were similar to what he had witnessed today, then this competition was as good as Hubert’s.

But Hubert needed to take initiative quickly, lest the Professor laugh at Claude’s pathetic attempts at schemes, which was  _ technically _ a reaction.

So that was why he lying in wait, hidden outside the Professor’s room, ready for when she returned. He had to do this in the daytime, instead of the usual nighttime, as since he needed witnesses this time. 

The moment he saw her mop of dark green hair, he pounced. Jumping out of the bush with his knife, he trained his sights on her back.

But she must have heard him, since she turned around just in time, grabbed his arm, and judo flipped him onto the ground, effectively disarming him.

As he lay on the ground, gasping for air after being getting the wind knocked out of him, his Professor took a squat next to him to give him some pointers, “Well, you did better than last time, since I didn’t realize you were next to me until the last second. Did you hide in the bushes? That was a good idea, but I could still hear you when you decided to move, so maybe find a better spot next time. But if it was someone less experienced, you might’ve gotten them, so I’ll give you a C this time.”

Hubert nodded to show he understood as he tried to get up, only for Byleth to remember something, and she added, “Oh yeah, also you get detention.” She was completely deadpan the entire discussion.

What a failure.

* * *

Professor Manuela was in charge of detention that day, but she had a really bad hangover, so she was trying to sleep at the desk. Unfortunately, since they were locked in, the two students couldn’t get out. And neither of them wanted to deal with waking up Manuela, so there was nothing to do. The rules stated that speaking was prohibited, but Claude wouldn’t let Hubert sit comfortably in silence.

“You actually… tried to assassinate... a trained mercenary… in broad daylight? And you thought it would work?” Claude incredulously asked between in the few breaths he could manage while laughing his lungs out. Hubert was beginning to regret telling Claude his story. He should have made something up. “And then she… She actually gave you tips!? That’s too good!” Claude wiped away the tears from laughing too hard and Hubert felt a sudden urge to use his newly learnt assassination skills on someone.

“Better than your pathetic excuse for a prank. A bucket, are you actually trying? She has dealt with far worse in her career than water.”

“Yeah, I still can’t believe she taught the lecture while dripping with water. Although my homework got kinda wet.”

“You reap what you sow.”

“Oh, come on! At least my plan worked. Did you really think you could just stab Teach?”

Hubert scowled instead of answering. But he did have to admit that his usual methods most likely wouldn’t work this time.

He may have to adjust his strategies, but he would not lose to Claude.

* * *

“Hey, Teach” Claude gave his best innocent smile to his emotionless teacher, “Wanna eat together? I got you some of that soup I know you like.”

“Thanks, Claude, but I actually don’t really have any favorites. I just like eating with other people.” Byleth said, before taking the bowl anyways.

“Aww, that’s sweet Teach!” Claude cooed, trying to hide his evil smile. 

He almost got away with it, and was practically rubbing his hand with anticipation when Teach brought a spoonful to her mouth.

Then she paused.

With a very pronounced sniffing motion, she turned and asked Claude, “What did you put in this?”

“Oh, could you tell? Yeah, I put a laxative in that. It’s really fast acting. I was gonna tell you after you took a sip, since that’s all it really needs. But wow, could you really tell? That’s impressive, Teach!” Claude praised, but Byleth shook her head in disappointment, not that you could see it on her face.

“Detention.” Byleth told him, and shoved the soup down his throat.

* * *

Hubert was particularly proud of this one.

He was positively smiling from ear to ear. It was one of those famous early classes that Professor Byleth always ran late too, and he was giddy with anticipation for when his plan would come to fruition.

He also may have scared the Lysithea girl with his supposedly evil sounding laughter, so he made a note of that. Obviously to make sure it didn’t happen again, of course. Not that it reminded him of Bernadetta, not at all. And he definitely wouldn’t laugh to see her jump up in fright, no sir.

If anything, Hubert thought it was a shame that Claude wouldn’t be able to witness it, considering he was trapped in the bathroom due to his earlier idea backfiring.

Honestly, what was he doing? You should never admit your nefarious schemes, especially if they are suspicious. Such an ametuer.

But when Byleth walked through the door and got to her desk, Hubert just couldn’t help himself.

It was the fateful moment after all.

She reached over to grab a piece of chalk from her desk, only for it to remain unmoved.

She tugged at it, but it did not give. Eventually she gave up to try another one, but it also remained steadfast to the desk.

Noticing that something was wrong, she started pulling at other objects on her desk, but they were all as immobile as the chalk.

He had done it. 

He had finally defeated the professor.

Now she would surely get frustrated, and even she couldn’t hide that. Hubert would make sure to rub it in Claude’s face about how he won the bet.

And then Professor Byleth ripped a piece of chalk off with brute force.

Hubert wasn’t even sure if that was possible! He used the strongest glue available, how did that happen? And he couldn’t even get a reaction out of her. What a shame.

Byleth carried on with writing on the chalkboard as if nothing had occurred, but eventually did mention it once she finished writing what she wanted. “Oh yeah, whenever Claude gets back from the bathroom, tell him he has double detention.”

“Claude!?” Hubert shouted in disbelief, actually getting out of his seat. “Do you actually think he would have the dedication to pull off something of this scale? This requires an understanding of your organization system and a willingness to do even the most tedious of tasks that is watching glue dry! And you think  _ Claude, _ of all people, is capable of that?”

“So are you saying that you did this?” Byleth asked, and you could picture an eyebrow raised, but her face was still completely blank.

“Well,” Hubert got caught off-guard as he realized that he just admitted his crime, something he generally tried to avoid, “Yes, I suppose I did.”

“Detention.”

* * *

So once again, Claude and Hubert were the only two in detention. Well, three if you counted Hanneman, but he was too engrossed in his book, and wasn’t aware of his surroundings.

“Did you have any luck this time?” Claude asked, and Hubert just shook his head in response. They were both stumped. Even though Claude had his notebook full of plans, they all seem futile in the face of this most formidable foe. He even tried to use more drastic measures. Sure he joked about poisoning food in the past, but this was the first time he actually did it.

Although he probably wouldn’t again after spending most of the day in the bathroom. 

He wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy.

So there they were, sitting in detention, the gears turning to think of something, anything, that could have a chance of working.

And it worked.

Claude had figured it out.

How did he not see this sooner?

Claude turned to the sulking mage, and gave him his offer.

“Hey Hubert, neither of us are having much luck on our own. We can’t beat her separately, which is why I think we should team up. Two heads are better than one and all that, y’know?”

Hubert brought his head up to look Claude in the eyes, and seemed to ponder it for a moment before coming to an answer.

“Fine, but only this one time.”


	4. Fishing and Schemes both require patience

The plan was simple enough. Hubert probably could have come up with it himself, if he had enough time. Although he supposed having Claude around did speed up the process.

For instance, although Hubert monitored the Professor before, he never truly understood how important fishing was to her.

Whenever Hubert had seen the Professor at the dock, he assumed it was simply because she needed ingredients for her bottomless appetite. But according to Claude, it was actually something her father and her would do together, giving it a special place in her heart. Ever since she was a kid, the two of them would spend quality time together at a pond. 

And her years of practice showed, because she was damn good at it too.

Fish were attracted like magnets to her hook. Not a single one managed to escape. Species that were long thought to have been extinct were reeled in by the Professor. It was truly a sight to behold. The Garreg Mach travel guide recommends seeing it at least once.

But that wasn’t the reason Hubert and Claude were hiding on the staircase next to the pond.

It was because this was their scheme.

Last night, Hubert had used some of his dark magic in the Professor’s usual fishing spot. Living things, which includes fish, detest dark magic and avoid it like the plague. And the miasma of dark magic lingers long after it is cast.

So the Professor was essentially fishing in a puddle.

There were no fish to catch! Even she would hate suddenly becoming hopeless in a field she was so proficient in.

This scheme was mostly Hubert’s idea anyways, but Hubert supposed the future leader of the Alliance wasn’t the worst person to have around. Every once in a while he did come up with something usable, which was better than most.

So Claude and Hubert waited for the Professor to begin fishing... and they waited... and waited...

“Where is she?” Hubert demanded, tapping his foot impatiently.

“She’ll get here eventually, don’t get your pants in a twist,” Claude reassured, although he was clearly bored as well. “Besides, I thought this would happen, so I brought this!” From his bag he pulled out a portable chess board, “Do you wanna play? I’m assuming you do know how to play, of course.”

“What kind of imbecile doesn’t know how to play chess?” Hubert scoffed, and turned to keep watching an empty pier.

“Alright, suit yourself,” Claude laughed, but set up the pieces anyways, and once he finished, looked up expectantly.

“Fine, I’ll humor you just this once,” Hubert relented, and reluctantly moved a pawn. Very reluctantly.

Hubert supposed that Claude was one of his better opponents. He actually had to think, so that was usually a good thing. So when they landed in a stalemate, Hubert decided to have a rematch, just to be polite, obviously. And when Hubert won the next round, he decided to be generous and let Claude have another chance. And he just couldn’t let Claude get carried away with managing to take a game off him, so he suggested one more try.

However, Hubert may have gotten a little distracted, since he only noticed that Professor Byleth had started fishing when he heard the crashing noise of a rod hitting the ground and an angry shout.

Even from a distance, he could see the angled eyebrows, her narrow lips, and that clearly visible glare in her eyes.

They had done it.

She was mad and you could see it on her face.

“Nice! We got her!” Claude whisper shouted, pumping his fist.

“Well, I suppose it was only natural that we would succeed,” Hubert bragged. This was wonderful, there would be no way to ruin this moment.

Except Byleth hid her face in her arms and wept.

The two schemers were dumbfounded, this wasn’t supposed to happen. The Professor was strong and commanding. 

She was invincible. 

Not... this. 

Not vulnerable.

She was the _ Ashen Demon _ . She force-fed her student _ poison _ . She _ judo-flipped _him.

Didn’t she foil their schemes so easily? This wasn’t right, it must be a fake, Hubert concluded, but Claude didn’t see it that way.

“Hey Hubert,” He started, regret clear in his face. “I think we may have gone too far this time.” The loud sobs in the background sent shivers of guilt down Hubert’s spine, which was new. And most unwelcome.

“Yes,” Hubert finally agreed, “I suppose we ought to take responsibility for our actions.” He was not looking forward to what was coming next.

The walk down the staircase felt like a century.

“Ugh, Professor,” Hubert started, not knowing where to go. Usually he felt nothing for his more distasteful actions, so this was a first. How did Bernadetta do this so easily?

He was pulled out of his struggle when Byleth let out another miserable whine, figuring he better get this done quickly.

“My apologies,” He got out quickly, “I did not realize it would affect you so harshly, I will accept any punishment you deem necessary.”

After his heartfelt apology, Byleth’s weeping had quieted down, so Hubert supposed that meant she was feeling better. Until all of a sudden, her hand shot out and caught his arm in a vice grip, which was when Hubert got a good look at her face.

Her eyes were dry.

THIS FAKER!

Although her rage was still there in her face.

“Thank you for your confession,” Byleth told him with a dangerously soft tone, “I’ll keep that in mind when I decide your sentence.”

“Would it not Detention as usual?” Hubert asked, genuinely confused by this new development.

“No, you get a much more _ personal _ session,” Byleth hissed, and Hubert understood in that he liked the emotionless Professor much better than an angry Professor.

“Wait, what about Claude?” Hubert asked, suddenly noticing how only he was getting tortured.

“What about Claude?” Byleth parroted, which was when Hubert looked around and realized he was alone.

THAT DASTARD DITCHED HIM!

He would remember this.

“I swear, he was the one who came up with this plan,” Hubert tried, determined to not go down alone.

“Come on, Hubert?” Byleth scoffed, “Like you would work with someone. Accept your punishment already.”

Hubert opened his mouth to answer, then promptly closed it.

She wasn’t wrong.

And he was going to kill him.

* * *

Claude had a productive day today.

First he got to see an expression on his normally stoic teach. And then Hubert _ so _ gallantly decided to cover for him.

All in all, a day well spent.

But about that, he probably should try to extend an olive branch to the mage, since he just found a new chess buddy, and it would be a shame to lose that so soon.

And speak of the devil! The man of the hour arrived.

“Claude,” Hubert spat out, seething with fury. He must not have been over what happened that morning. Didn’t he know he would lose hair if he held onto grudges? Then he wouldn’t be able to cover his face, and he might need to actually look people in the eye.

“Heya, buddy,” Claude smiled, putting an arm around his new friend, “Fun day, wasn’t it?”

Hubert only growled in response. 

Claude would miss him.

“But it’s too bad though, since I guess we won’t be seeing each other too often anymore.”

“Explain.” Hubert commanded, clearly not in the mood.

“Well you won our bet,” Claude told a confused Hubert, “Since Byleth thinks you were responsible, that means you were the one who got her to make an angry face. It was fun, let’s have another bet sometime.”

“Yes, you’re right. I suppose that was my scheme, wasn’t it,” Hubert’s permanent scowl softened into a thoughtful expression, “So I may return to Lady Edelgard’s side now?”

“Yup, go for it!” 

“Alright then,” Hubert agreed.

And then he didn’t move.

“Uh, Hubert? You okay? You know you can go now, right?” Claude asked, wondering why Hubert wasn’t already out the door.

“Well I suppose, but I believe that there is some merit in staying with the Golden Deer, for now at least. Besides, it wouldn’t do to anger the Professor anymore,” Hubert bullshitted, which caused Claude to break out into his biggest grin of the day.

“Awww, Hubert! You big softie! If you liked it here so much, you should’ve just said so!”

“Nothing like that, I just believe there would be more opportunities if I remained,” Hubert licked his lips with malice as he eyed Claude.

“Haha, what kind of opportunities?” Claude nervous laughed, suddenly remembering this guy tried to stab Teach as a prank.

“Oh, all kinds, I’m sure,” Hubert reassured, which was not at all reassuring.

Claude may have made a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I only had planned out the first four chapters, and was going to end it here, but I kinda want to do more with these guys. So if I get any other ideas, or I see a good suggestion, then I'll add another chapter.
> 
> Also don't prank people. Claude, Hubert, and Byleth are all very bad role models.


	5. And now, something else!

“I’m sorry, Dedue, but I must leave,” Edelgard told the Blue Lion for the third time that day, “I need to make sure Bernadetta has at least eaten Breakfast!” Edelgard got up, already taking off her gloves, but Dedue stopped her.

“Caspar said he would do it.” He informed her, which got her to calm down, if only for a second.

“Yes, that’s true...” Edelgard conceded, before returning to her squatting position. The two of them were in the Greenhouse, which was Dedue’s attempt to get the future emperor to relax. Something she desperately needed, seeing as she came up with a new concern not a minute later. “But what if Caspar carries her like a sack of potatoes again? Bernadetta hates that, and Caspar always forgets! Maybe I should just go check up on them…”

“If that is true then there is nothing you can do about it now.” Dedue reasoned, which caused Edelgard to drop it, but she still looked stiff. “Besides, you have been watering that plant for too long, you should move on.”

Edelgard looked down to see that she was drowning her patient, and hastily tried to remedy her mistake, “Oh no, I killed it!”

“You didn’t pour so much as to do that. In fact, that particular variety is from the tropical forests of Brigid. If anything, it prefers that amount.”

“Is that so…” Edelgard put her hand to her chin, striking a perfect figure of a dignified emperor. Unfortunately it was ruined when she started panicking again. “Is it alright to have it here? What if Petra sees it and becomes homesick? It is a very difficult thing, being so far from home, I hope this doesn’t bring her painful memories...”

As Dedue reassured the Adrestian Princess, he realized how similar she was to his Highness. Both of them tried to act dignified, but could not hide their true caring nature. Although with Edelgard, it came out as a fretting mother. It was rather sweet of her, but it wasn’t healthy. So Dedue had dragged his new House Leader into the Greenhouse without explanation, where he thought she could spend an hour or so helping with the plants. It always helped clear Dedue’s mind. And it seemed to do well for Edelgard too, as she had a bemused smile as she worked with him.

“I must thank you, Dedue,” Edelgard brought up, “This was all to get me to take a break, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Dedue admitted, supposing there was no point in keeping secrets.

“Although I am surprised. Most people wouldn’t dare make the future Emperor kneel on the ground and do menial labor.”

“My apologies.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to sound unwilling, I just thought that it was nice. Many walk on eggshells near me, because of my status.”

“Your house members don’t seem to treat you any differently.”

Edelgard smiled when he mentioned them, which was a rare sight for the giant student, “Yes, I thought I would be all alone here, with no one but Hubert, so it gladdens me that they treat me so. They are all so precious to me.” Edelgard smile vanished after a moment, and she looked tortured while lost in thought.

“Is something wrong?” Dedue asked, genuinely concerned.

“No, it’s nothing” Edelgard dismissed, but eventually relented to Dedue’s unspoken skepticism. “It’s just that when I ascend to the throne, I cannot afford to be weak, and I fear that I cannot be the same Edelgard that I am at Garreg Mach. I must be the Emperor, and must do what is best for Fodlan, rather than what is best for them.”

Dedue paused, thinking about the weight of what she just said, and how similar it felt to his Highness. Having to put on a facade to hide their inner selves, it seemed to come with power everywhere. 

“You should have more faith in them,” Dedue finally answered, “They know how much you care for them, so they won’t leave your side so easily.”

“Yes, I suppose you are right…” Edelgard relented, “Thank you Dedue, having you to consult with almost reminds me of Hubert. It’s reassuring.”

“You two must be close.”

“Yes, I’ve known him since childhood. I must say, I was initially hesitant about the Professor’s arrangement. Hubert has always been at my side, so it felt strange to be deprived of his presence now. Maybe it’s just a silly whim of mine, but sometimes I can hear his voice. Like now, for instance!”

“I believe I hear him too.” Dedue mentioned, certain that he was not close enough with Edelgard’s retainer to have that occur.

“Dedue, look!” Edelgard frantically pointed to the open roof of the Greenhouse, where Dedue saw the Professor riding a Pegasus, and hanging off the side was Hubert who had been tied up and was being dragged by a rope in mid-air. The two gardeners could hear his string of curses and squirming even from this elevation apparently. “Dedue! Hubert is scared of heights!” Edelgard shouted with mortification, “I need to get him down from there!”

Dedue sighed in defeat. It appeared that Edelgard would never be able to relax.

* * *

Hilda had heard a lot about Prince Dimitiri. That he was as strong as 10 men; The true embodiment of chivalry; He didn’t know about Shampoo; Proud but never haughty; Almost like another version of her brother.

What she didn’t expect was this mess.

She wasn’t sure why she was teaching the future King of Faerghus how to make accessories, nor was she sure why he was so bad at it.

It all started on the day she had transferred to the Blue Lions. Dimitri had offered to carry her stuff, since moving could be stressful. What a sweetie! And while unpacking, he saw one of her homemade hair clips. And apparently he was a prince of culture since he understood the value of her accessories! He may have been too enamoured with her work though, since it accidently snapped in his hands! It wasn’t even on purpose, the prince had merely wanted to pinch it between his fingers to see it bend a little. It was supposed to handle that much strain, but for some reason, the wood was sent flying everywhere. But the worst thing was that it was Hilda’s favorite, and upon learning the severity of his mistake, the Prince had graciously offered to replace it.

Now Hilda thought he would just buy her a new one. What she didn’t expect was the noble to expect her to teach him. Honestly it was more trouble than it was worth, after all, Hilda was a terrible teacher. It would just be a waste. But he _ insisted _, so Hilda eventually relented. She figured he would get bored after a few failures, but here he remained.

“Hilda, is this alright?” Dimitri asked, earnestly showing her the macaroni necklace that he made. Hair clips were a bit beyond his abilities right now, so they were starting with the basics. It wasn’t too bad for a beginner.

“It’s wonderful!” Hilda told him, “You’re a natural! Next time we can have you start using beads!” She had already made a lesson plan for the next couple weeks, and the childish smile from Dimitri made it all worth it.

Honestly this guy was hopeless.

But Hilda _ guessed _that she could help him out every once in a while.

After their lesson, Dimitri felt the need to apologize to her again. “I’m sorry for taking up your time again. I’ve been told that I have been clumsy ever since I was a child, so I am sorry that I am rather incompetent with this.”

“Nah! We all have to start somewhere. I’ll make a master artisan out of you yet!” Hilda reassured, “Besides, I like having someone who I can talk about this stuff with!”

“But I must say, I am surprised that you were so enthusiastic about this,” Dimitri laughed, “Professor Byleth had warned me that you were exceedingly lazy, but that must have been an exaggeration.”

“Doesn’t the Professor know that it’s rude to gossip behind someone’s back?” Hilda complained, “I just know what I’m good at, so obviously you can’t send a delicate flower like me out on the battlefield. This is what I’m cut out for.”

“Oh?” Dimitri seemed skeptical, “Then how did you know techniques for controlling your strength? I wouldn’t think a fragile maiden would need to know that…”

“You’re a lot smarter than you let on, y'know?” Hilda pouted, she ought to keep her guard up around this guy.

“And I think I could learn a lot from you too,” Dimitri chuckled, and it was infectious, so Hilda couldn’t help but crack a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this wasn't really as funny as previous chapters because I wanted to emphasize the relationships between the House Leaders and the New Recruits.


	6. People who Reside in Darkness (Tentative Name)

The von Vestra family were no strangers to the dark. They had mastered everything from espionage to assassination to torture, and it was all for their liege. It didn’t matter how they dirtied their hands, as long as they completed their objective. 

Hubert von Vestra had cast aside any doubts long ago when he committed to serving Lady Edelgard, but this mission was testing him.

Hubert was spying on the Golden Deer.

Admittedly his situation was less than ideal, his place was by Lady Edelgard’s side. Though he had some unfinished business with Claude, and after conversing with the Professor, they had mutually agreed that this could be a beneficial experience for Hubert.

In unrelated news, Hubert had decided that the Professor should not be crossed ever again.

So that was how the future Minister of the Imperial Household was stuck with the Leicester Alliance students, but this disastrous situation could be fortunate for the Empire. Garreg Mach was a microcosm of their respective countries after all. The politics and relations that outsiders rarely got to observe were here on display in full force. 

For example, you could look at the Black Eagles. Although the nobles all knew of each other, none of them were particularly close. However, there were exceptions, such as Linhardt and Caspar, as well as himself and Lady Edelgard. This reflected in Empire Politics where the nobles were always competing for more power. Honestly, it was a mess. Ever since power had been decentralized from the Emperor's seat, these nobles had been too busy on their own pride and neglected their pride as citizens of the Empire. Their lack of loyalty was concerning. For them.

But it wasn’t always the most accurate. You could also look at the Blue Lions, and how closely knit their nobles were. Hubert had heard rumors that they were childhood friends, but it seemed a little odd that they were all from the Eastern part of the Kingdom. The closest thing they had to a Western Noble was Ashe, the adoptive son of one, not that he would inherit the house. 

Although the Kingdom nobles seemed united, it must be anything but. Hubert had heard what led to the Tragedy of Duscar, and unlike those sheep who foolishly believed what was spoon-fed to them, Hubert knew how to think critically. The former King believed in radical reformations to the governing system, so it wasn’t that hard to see that nobles who feared losing power had the most to gain from his death. It appeared that nobles were the same everywhere. 

So it was up to Hubert to understand the Golden Deer: discover the hidden agendas and alliances of their noble houses, the popular opinion of the commoners, or just anything that would be useful in the very near future.

However, the reason this mission was so taxing was because of a buzzing gnat known as Claude von Riegan. For some unknown reason the House Leader had taken an interest in Hubert, and it was most unwelcome. 

“Hubert!” Claude shouted whenever he saw him, ”What are you doing here?”

“Must you be so loud? This is a library, after all,” Hubert scolded, not wanting to draw any more attention than he needed.

“Oh! You’re right!” Claude whisper shouted, clearly not getting it, “So what are you checking out? The History of Fódlan, huh. I never took you for a history buff!” Claude put an arm on Hubert’s shoulder and started to lean into him.

“Don’t touch me,” Hubert reminded the future Duke for what must have been the hundredth time, but he never learned, “I simply wished to learn more about the Leicester Alliance, their history and such trifles.”

Claude looked genuinely offended, before finally speaking, “Buddy, I can’t believe this! If you wanted to learn more about the Leicester Alliance, you should’ve just asked me. I can’t believe you’re finally opening up to us!” Claude wiped a fake tear from his eyes, “So what do you hear about first?”

“I’ll pass,” Honestly, Hubert could care less about what Claude had to offer. His information was probably unreliable anyway, who in their right mind would willingly give away information to the enemy so easily? It would be far more beneficial to acquire it on his own.

“Don’t be like that! Alright, how about I tell you about our classmates?”

“Do as you will,” Hubert told him as he ignored him and proceeded to the checkout. Hubert had already analyzed most of the Golden Deer long ago. Most weren’t a threat, so they were beneath the dark mage’s notice. And then there was Lorenz. Hubert loathed Lorenz.

Lorenz… Hubert despised nobles obsessed with their status, which happened to be the majority of them. And it was his misfortune to have a housemate that embodied that characteristic not once, but twice! It was as if Hubert could never escape that pompous orange no matter how hard he tried! The sole thing he had looked forward to with this arrangement was no longer having to listen to von Aegir prattling, but it seemed as if fate loved to make Hubert suffer, and now he had to deal with purple Ferdinand. At the very least, Lorenz didn’t bother Lady Edelgard.

But now it was Claude prattling in his ear, talking about how Ignatz probably didn’t want to be a knight, or how Leonie wanted to repay her village for sending her here. It was all blabber, but not entirely useless. For instance, there was one person, in particular, Hubert needed to learn more about.

“And then there’s Lysithea, she’s probably the youngest student here, but she hates it when you treat her like a child. Me though, I do it on purpose. Gotta make your own fun around here,” Claude nodded as if that made sense when it most definitely did not.

“The Lysithea girl, where is she from?” Hubert asked.

“Oh? Are you interested? Oh, I know why… A short, white-haired girl, she must remind you of the Princess!” Claude wiggled his eyebrows as if he had solved the case.

“Yes, Claude, you’re so astute, as always,” Hubert rolled his eyes, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Now wasn’t the time to waste energy on petty squabbles. “So where is she from?”

“Sheesh, so impatient! Anyways, she is the eldest daughter of House Ordelia in Alliance Territory. Happy?” Claude pretended to act hurt, which could have been more convincing had he done a better job hiding his laughter.

“Overjoyed,” Hubert deadpanned. House Ordelia… That was the one Alliance territory that aided in House Hrym’s revolt against the Empire, although it was rightfully squashed by the might of Adrestia. As a result, House Ordelia was punished by the Empire.

The reason this event from so many years ago stuck out to Hubert was that punishment and tasks of this nature were usually given to the Minister of the Imperial Household. However, this was the first of many given to another group.

The rivals of the von Vestras, the other group who lived in the dark… People who reside in darkness… No. That was not a good name. Hubert needed to think of a better name.

Not that it would matter soon. If all went well, they would be disposed of before long.

But they were a threat. They had the most unsettling ability to disguise themselves as another person. Hubert and Lady Edelgard had no idea who they could trust, as everyone was potentially an enemy. Not to mention the actual enemies they had in the Monastery.

And that was the true nature of Hubert’s mission. He was to look into the Golden Deer and ferret out any imposters.

And at the top of his list of potential suspects was Lysithia.

The girl lived in a territory controlled by that very group. It wasn’t unthinkable for them to want to have a mole in the Alliance, and who better than the heir of the house. Lysithea was remarkably mature for her age, possible hiding the fact that she was much older than she seemed. And then there was the most damning evidence: She used dark magic.

Hubert could count on one hand the number of dark magic users who weren’t working for that group. He had only managed to learn dark magic from the scraps he could scavenge. It was truly remarkable that this group managed to hide such powerful spells from the rest of Fódlan.

But it wasn’t as if Hubert minded, it simply made identifying his enemies easier.

Lysithea von Ordelia…

Hubert would find out who she truly was.

* * *

Claude had truly found a kindred spirit in Hubert.

Admittedly the two of them have had their ups and downs, but don’t all friendships have those? If anything, these adversities made their friendship stronger! The two of them had been through so much together! Like the prank bet, or the chess games, or… well, that was it so far, but it was just the start of this beautiful friendship! After all, they would have plenty of time together. 

Hubert said he was sticking around because he didn’t know how to let go of a grudge, but Claude understood he was just acting tough. His pride would never allow him to admit he enjoyed being with people other than Edelgard… but as far as Claude was concerned, that quirk was rather mild compared to the rest of his deer.

But the actual reason Claude thought of Hubert as a comrade was because Hubert liked to tease Lysithea too.

After their conversation in the library, Claude knew something was up when Hubert had interrogated him on Lysithea in particular. He thought it had been because they use similar kinds of magic, but he figured it was more after Hubert had become lost in thought during their conversation.

He even ignored Claude. So rude.

So over the last week, it had looked like Hubert was doing his Hubert thing: slinking around dark corners, malicious laughing, rubbing his hands ominously, that kind of stuff, but that wouldn't fool Claude. He knew what Hubert was doing. Lysithea screaming and running in abject horror had increased by 150% ever since the Imperial Princess’s retainer had joined the house.

Even Hilda, who usually helped him prank Lorenz, would refuse since she thought that Lysithea was “too cute for that”, whatever that meant. But Hubert… he understood.

He had this innate eeriness that he worked to his advantage in these situations. Add the surprisingly high number of students and knights that were afraid of ghosts at Garreg Mach, and you had the perfect monster for scaring people who had just heard a horror story.

But what Hubert didn’t understand that there was a method to it.

Lysithea was in too much of a rush to grow up, so she needed to learn to loosen up. That’s why Claude liked to spook her from time to time. Not because it was funny, not at all. He just wanted her to loosen up. It was what was best for her, really.

Hubert had the right idea, but he needed his house leader to guide him. Together, they could terrorize Lysithea even more effectively! For her sake, obviously.

It looked like their short-lived partnership had a new goal, now the only issue was to get Hubert to agree to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is back. It'll probably just be one more chapter after this though, then I'll return to my hibernation.


	7. Vampire of the Library

Hubert almost had a heart attack when Claude approached him.

“I know what you’re doing…” The House Leader had slyly whispered to him one day after class. Had they not been in public, Hubert would have whipped out his knife and silenced the noble once and for all.

“I know you’ve been targeting Lysithea,” Claude continued threatening Hubert, whose blood pressure skyrocketed. He had been so careful to go unnoticed by onlookers or Lysithea herself. If he were caught, he would no longer be able to conduct reconnaissance. You can only trick people once, after all.

Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, Hubert was unable to collect information on Lysithea. The girl had this remarkable ability to notice that something was watching her, although it seemed that she hadn’t recognized him. For some bizarre reason, she thought that he was a ghost who was haunting Garreg Mach. Although he had constructed this particular aesthetic to strike fear into the hearts of his enemies, he hadn’t expected it to work. Although it seemed it was no longer effective. She must have realized and told Claude.

“Do you have an issue with it?” Hubert asked, making sure no emotion was betrayed on his face. He would never give Claude the satisfaction of knowing that he had been caught off guard. And by Claude of all people.

“Au contraire, my sinister friend, I want in!”

“Excuse me?” Hubert was flabbergasted. How much did Claude know? He obviously knew more than he let on, but was he also aware of the shades that plagued Fodlan? Was he truly an ally, or simply a ploy by the Dudes who are Shady, who wanted to plant a double agent in their ranks? That name was also terrible. Also extremely unprofessional. Hubert must have been spending too much time with Claude. Either way, Hubert needed to know more.

“Yes,” Claude nodded, “I believe that with the two of us, we can scare Lysithea even more effectively! With your creepiness and my experience, we would make the perfect scary combo!”

“Scaring… Lysithea?” Nothing about this conversation was going to make sense to Hubert, and he should have accepted that long ago.

“There’s no use playing dumb now,” Claude smirked, “I’ve seen you stalking the halls waiting to strike. You’re a natural! But you need to be a little bit more subtle. That’s where I come in!”

“So you’ll assist me in my endeavors is what you’re implying?”

“Well within reason. We’re just trying to get her to relax, right?”

“…Of course.” Hubert had no idea what Claude was talking about, but if he was offering to be used, then Hubert would gladly accept it. However, it was probably for the best that he didn’t assassinate the future leader of the Alliance earlier, considering it was just one of Claude’s inane pranks. 

Or rather Claude’s attempt to drag Hubert into one of them.

* * *

“Lysithea! What are you doing here?” Claude asked as he was in the library late one night. It was a surprise since Lysithea wasn’t sure he could read.

“Studying, Claude, you should try it for once. With your scores on the last test, I would be.” Lysithea didn’t even look up from her book as she delivered that burn.

“Nah, I got the exact score I needed,” Claude had gotten what he called a ‘perfect 69%’ on the last quiz. Lysithea couldn’t begin to fathom how he could be satisfied with that score. “But I didn’t think I’d see you here. You’ve been heading to bed early for the past week, I thought you’d finally decided to listen to me. You’ll never grow big and strong if you pull an all-nighter.”

“I’ll thank you to stop treating me like a child,” Lysithea told him. Honestly, it was like he tried to be the most annoying person on the planet.

“But what about the rumors that the library was haunted?” Claude smirked, thinking he had won. But Lysithea was prepared this time.

“You can’t fool me, Claude. Mercedes already told me that ghosts don’t go after good children who study.” Lysithea’s face turned red as she realized she accidentally called herself a child. And to Claude of all people!

But Claude laughed it off. It was a bluff, Lysithea concluded, there was no way he could get around this. Mercedes was the premier authority for ghost stories at Garreg Mach.

“Well, obviously I wasn’t worried that ghosts wouldn’t scare you, only children get scared of ghosts.” Claude shook his head with concern, “I was more worried about the Vampire of the Library.”

“V-vampire?” Lysithea asked, caught completely off guard by this new revelation. But that was only for a second because she then realized she was talking to Claude von Riegan. “Well, I’m not scared of vampires either!” He was lying, and she wouldn’t fall for it this time.

“All right,” Claude conceded, “Just wanted to warn you. I’ll be heading back then. Don’t stay up too late.” He grabbed his bow and left with a sleepy yawn. Why did he have a bow in the Library, Lysithea wondered to herself.

What a fool, Lysithea told herself, once she had her thoughts in order. Did he think she would fall for the same trick twice? No, of course not! She didn’t have time for his silly games, she needed to focus. It was pointless to think about Claude’s little tricks.

The same way it was pointless to look at the human-shaped shadow.

No, her mind was playing tricks on her. Vampires weren’t real. And even if they were, she had fought much worse. Like Demonic Beasts! Nothing a good Miasma Δ couldn’t take care of.

It was fruitless to notice tHAT THE SHADOW HAD MOVED CLOSER!

Nonononononono.

“STAY AWAY!” Lysithea shouted as she sent a ball of darkness into the fiend.

“Damn you,” a voice came from the monster, clearly hurt. When the staggering figure got up, Lysithea realized that she recognized the man.

“Hubert… I should’ve known.” Lysithea had her suspicions about the Empire, but this man, in particular, set off all the alarm bells in her head. “You’ve always had it out for me…” Lysithea readied another magic circle, ready for anything the Adrestian could throw at her. Hubert hit hard, almost as hard as her. One careless strike and she could lose what little time she had left.

“So you had noticed… How astute,” Hubert readied his own magic circle, “For a mole planted by those in your territory, you are far too dangerous. For her Majesty’s sake, I shall eliminate you even if I am unable to unearth what you and your group are planning.” Lysithea wondered what he was talking about. Why would she be a mole for those despicable monsters?

“Don’t even try to lie! You’re part of the Adrestian mages who did experiments on me!” Lysithea challenged, deciding to not let this snake confuse her.

“Excuse me!? Is this some ill-thought attempt to confound me? It is obvious that you are a member of People who Reside in Darkness!”

“First of all, You’re super creepy looking-” Lysithea insisted, ignoring Hubert’s complaint.

“Your family has been in contact with them-” Hubert explained, treating her in kind.

“You’re always talking about how you would dispose of Edelgard enemies’-”

“You don’t act your age-”

“And the obvious thing-”

“And the most damning piece of evidence-”

“-You use dark magic!” They both shouted at once, before realizing the absurdity of the argument.

“Wait, what?” Lysithea blubbered, for once out of words.

But for his part, Hubert looked just as confounded. “My apologies, it appears I had come to an incorrect conclusion…”

“So you’re not going to kidnap me?” Lysithea asked, at least to understand the current level of danger

“Well not anymore…” Hubert told her, and he threw a handkerchief on the ground. He pulled up a chair at the table she had been sitting at. “I believe we need to talk.”

“I guess. So you’re really not part of them, right?”

Hubert scowled at the accusation, “Absolutely not. Although, I suppose I can’t prove it, but you have my word, at the very least. And I suppose I should assume the same for you?” He asked, and Lysithea nodded in affirmation. He looked disappointed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, but at least they weren’t going to kill each other anymore. “At least answer me this, what do you know about them?”

Lysithea hated this question, it always reminded her of her helplessness. “Less than I should, they just came and left. Leaving me like this.” She motioned to her body. If he truly knew about them, then she shouldn’t have to force herself to say it aloud.

Hubert considered her answer, with a hand to his chin. “Was your hair always white?” Hubert asked, but it sounded like he already knew the answer.”

“...No.”

Hubert’s silence said more than anything else they had said that night. His normally harsh eyes had turned soft with sympathy for possibly the first time since she had met him. 

“So is it true about Edelgard then? I always suspected, but she was the heir to the Empire…” Lysithea pushed, eager to learn more.

“It isn’t my place to share my Lady’s secrets,” Hubert told her, because _ obviously _. What was she thinking? She was being too forward. But that didn’t explain what Hubert had to do with any of this. 

“And how about you?” Lysithea asked. His hair was as dark as a raven, and last Lysithea heard, he was crestless. Although she did need to admit, he was more than capable for someone like that. His magic might even rival hers. Might being the operative word, of course.

“Me? I’m nothing of note to them. Although that has made certain things easier.” He made a dark magic circle as if to demonstrate what he took from those who took everything from her.

“So that’s how you learned it?” Lysithea asked. It was interesting to talk about dark magic with someone else. Before she had come to Garreg Mach, she didn’t think anyone else could use it. Outside of those mages, of course. “I managed to pick it up from watching them, so I’m not sure if I got it down properly…”

“You figured it out on your own? That is rather impressive. It’s rather complicated, and not many can glean information from the People who Reside in Darkness.” Hubert folded his arms and sat up, probably just as interested as she was in dark magic.

“Also, what kind of name is that?” Lysithea sneered, surprised by the unprofessional name, “I wouldn’t call them people. They were monsters. More Snake than Human.”

“So Snakes who slink in the darkness?”

“You know, they don’t actually sound that threatening when you put it like that.” Lysithea laughed. It wasn’t even that funny, but Lysithea just couldn’t stop. She tried to rub away the tears caused by laughter, but they just wouldn’t stop. Before she knew it, she had a waterfall coming from her eyes.

“My apologies, have I offended you in some way?” Hubert asked as he got up, wide-eyed as he tried to understand.

“No, Hubert,” Lysithea told him as she rubbed the last of it off with her sleeve, “It’s just that all this time I thought I was alone. There was no one to turn to, after all, who would believe me? I’m just so happy.” Lysithea told the awkward Hubert, who let out a sigh of relief. “You aren’t very good at this stuff, are you?” She told him once she dried the tears. He had just been standing confused until then.

“Consoling someone has never been my forte, I must admit.” Hubert seemed relieved, “I would offer you my handkerchief, but doubt you’d enjoy it. Although I should mention, if you ever wish to talk, I will oblige. And while I won’t claim to speak for her, Lady Edelgard wouldn’t be opposed to it either.”

Looking at this sincere Hubert, Lysithea suddenly felt like apologizing for earlier. “I’m sorry for hitting you with that spell.”

“No need, I believe I may have deserved it.”

“Well yeah, but I still feel like I should apologize.”

Hubert laughed his menacing laugh, but for once Lysithea didn’t feel threatened by him. “In that case, I suppose I should apologize for stalking you and frightening you.”

“I wasn’t scared!” Lysithea had a sudden realization, “So does Claude know about them too? Is that why he was helping you?” Lysithea inquired, finally understanding that the two of them must have been partners in crime. After all, Claude was the one who made her all jittery about vampires.

“No, that imbecile just wanted to mess with you.” Hubert spat out, his face soured as he thought of the House Leader.

Lysithea shook her head with frustration, and added, “He never changes! He always keeps treating me like a kid! And it’s worse because he’s just so immature!” 

“I understand entirely, in fact just the other day…”

The two of them talked for hours that night. 

* * *

Claude wasn’t stupid. Obviously, he knew that Hubert wanted something from Lysithea. And Hubert wasn’t the kind of person to do something frivolous like scaring Lysithea. If he was doing something, it would have to be for his beloved Princess.

And the dark mage had been awfully quiet recently. At first, he had been doing whatever possible to get out of the Golden Deer House, but all of a sudden he was being a good little boy.

It wasn’t hard to figure out that put two and two together to realize he was spying on the Golden Deer. 

Although it wasn’t too bad. After all, it wasn’t as if Claude couldn’t do some counterintelligence. All he had to do was make sure Hubert knew what he was allowed to, which is to say, what Claude told him. Besides, it wasn’t like Claude hated spending time with Hubert. The man was full of biting sarcasm and dry wit. And loathe as Claude may be to admit it, Hubert could actually be a sweetheart beneath all those layers of evilness.

Claude had to admit, he was jealous of Edelgard. Hubert had this undying loyalty to the Imperial Princess, and as much as it pained him to admit it, he had always wished he had someone like that.

Not the servant part, obviously, but just someone who he could trust. Someone who would always have his back.

It wasn’t going to happen though, but it would have been nice to have someone like that.

So despite how it might look, Claude was fond of his new housemate.

So that’s why he made Hubert talk with Lysithea.

Before their bet, Claude probably would’ve done anything to protect Lysithea from the retainer, but now... Claude just didn’t think that Hubert was that bad. He must have had a reason, so as long as he didn’t go too far, Claude would just restrict himself to monitoring Hubert’s movements, under the guise of helping him prank Lysithea.

But he didn’t expect that the two of them would come to an understanding on their own. Claude had been ready to bust through that library door with his bow had anything gone wrong, but it had a happy ending. Although he left after Lysithea started crying.

That felt like a personal scene which he shouldn’t be watching.

Although that night left more questions than answers in the end. But it was a sensitive subject for Lysithea, so there was only one person to ask.

“So, Hubert, I heard you spent the night with Lysithea.” Claude wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“That crass language of yours is bound to birth some unwanted rumors. Not that you wouldn’t know about that,” Hubert countered with another rumor that had surrounded Claude, but Claude would have preferred more indignation to the false charges. 

“Now, now. I wasn’t implying anything like that. I’m just saying you should be more careful is all. After all, even if it was nighttime, a library is a public place. You should feel lucky someone made sure no one else went in while you two were having your little spat. You could hear the shouting from the next room,” Claude could see Hubert’s knuckles whiten as he reached into his uniform, probably to grab his razor that everyone politely ignored (No one wanted to be on the business end of that).

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t cut you down right now,” Hubert's voice was laced with malice, which was normal, but also a hint of fear.

“Hey now, I just happened to overhear your conversation. The monastery's rather old you know, the walls aren’t as thick as one would like.”

“They won’t find the body,” Hubert told him and Claude felt a pressure against his Adam's apple.

“Wait! I need to know more about that group you two were talking about!”

Hubert eyed Claude suspiciously as if to weigh his options. “How do I know I can trust you?”

So Claude didn’t actually think this far ahead. But to be fair he didn’t think Hubert would pull a knife on him. So now Claude had to come up with a reason, and the adrenaline didn’t make thinking easier. So he could only stammer incoherently as an answer.

But to Claude’s surprise, the pressure on his throat disappeared as Hubert pocketed his knife.

“Are you letting me go? I know I’m good with words, but even I didn’t think I was so good, I didn’t even _ need _ words!” Adrenaline was a hell of a drug.

“I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. We’re going somewhere more private, and then I shall consider whether or not I should tell you what I know of Those Who Slither in the Dark.” Hubert shoved Claude forward, and rather harshly too. Claude was pushing his luck, but he felt that he had something very important to say.

“That’s not a very good name.”

* * *

Pair of SchMEMErs

Chapter 7.5: The Dark Magic Research Society

“Hubert, my friend!”

“Claude.”

“Wow, you _ so _sound happy to see me.”

“Make it fast, I have a meeting to attend.”

“Yeah, yeah, that Dark Magic Research Society that you and Lysithea formed. But see, that is what I wanted to talk about.

“Is something unsatisfactory?”

“Well for one, let’s take a look at your club’s minutes that I have here.”

“I understand that it may seem strange to you, but this is a field of obscured knowledge. It is imperative to share the few fragments of information we have available.”

“Of course, but that’s not the issue here. I was more worried about this one.”

“Ah, ‘The Airing of Grievances about Claude von Riegan’? I fail to understand what could be problematic about it.”

“Everything! What does that even mean!?”

“Usually we talk about some immature thing you did. The specifics of our discussion should be detailed in the log.”

“I know! I read it! What I want to know is why you guys spend an hour bashing me! And on club time! It looks like you guys spend more time complaining than actually doing your club activities. In fact, in the last meeting, you guys didn’t even get to dark magic research.”

“Yes, that was a wonderful meeting. But I assure you, we do far more than discussing how annoying you are.”

“Oh, what else do you do?”

“Why drink coffee, of course.”

“Seriously? You and Lysithea? I thought she hated that. Too bitter and all.”

“Well she did, but after mentioning that it had a mature taste that only adults could appreciate, she was quite insistent that we drink coffee.”

“C’mon Hubert…”

“It pairs well with cake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is going to be kind of meta, but I didn’t want to give away the twist in the last chapter, so I had Claude’s POV in it be unreliable. It was to make a joke in the last chapter, but it’s bad writing for the plot overall. So I’m just gonna say Claude was breaking the fourth wall and playing dumb with the reader. He pretended that he had the misunderstanding in case Hubert had mind reading powers. That’s canon now. But for real, my bad. Not gonna lie, I feel like I should've replaced the last POV of that chapter with Hubert's in this one. But I'm leaving it up because reasons.  
There was probably a better way, like not giving Claude a POV at all, but the irony was just too good to pass up. Also that chapter needed something to lighten it up. Besides, he is technically a main character and all. He has to show up sometimes.   
  
And the reason Hubert kept the name Those Who Slither in the Dark is to spite Claude.
> 
> And in other news, did you know that Claude and Hubert have pre battle quotes in Verdant Wind? It’s absolutely everything I ever wanted (other than them deciding to become friends).
> 
> But yea, see you guys in a month or something


End file.
